Our Family Photographs - The Gutierrez/Rivera Family

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The Gutierrez/Rivera Family Photographs

Submitted by Deborah Rivera
Mother of Alex Gutierrez
August 03, 1988 - April 11, 2003

Don't Think

“Don't think!” - It's a command that I give my brain everyday and cram something into the corners of it so I don't feel the sore.

“Don't think!” - Of the day he took his life and wished he hadn't been born.

“Don't think!” - Why the baby I loved and just wanted to keep, would leave me in a painful heap on the floor.

“Don’t think!” - Of the day he was born, as he broke a bone ripping his way out into this world, even then not wanting to be released from his refuge in my womb.

“Don’t think!” - Of the dimple in his cheek, his pale skin and contrasting black curly halo of hair he wore.

“Don’t think!” - That at 14 years he would have stubble on his chin that I never noticed before.

“Don’t think!” - Of him tying that last knot and kicking away the lawn chair to hang from the rafters forlorn.

“Don’t think!” - Why it had to take looking down at him on a gurney, being zippered up in a bag, to wish I’d noticed the stubble before.

“Don’t think there are comparisons of pain to the pain of my heart being ripped out and left bleeding on the floor.

Too late to think, so just DON’T THINK, don’t breathe, don’t live, don’t tell me not to hurt anymore.

Missing you my gentle giant!
Debbie - Alex's Momy

This is Alex with my cousin - we always teased Alex that he was Mini Me of my cousin Danny. We had this bash to get all the family together because all the aunts and uncles were getting on in age and we wanted one last family outing with them. Little did we know that it was to say good-bye to Alex.



This is Alex with his Dad's step-daughters, except for the one in the red - this is my niece Candice.



This is Alex with his sister Leah. It was for a New Years church party they were going to in 2002/2003.



This is me - Debbie - Alex's Momy.



This picture was taken Christmas 2002.



Every year when my baby brother came to visit I made it a point to get a group picture of the kids. August of 2002 was the first time they ever offered the pictures on-line so I was able to get this last group picture saved to a folder. Alex and Nikkie were always compared to the dark versions of the Campbell Soup Twins. The little boy is my nephew Tyler and Leah is the older sister.



This is Alex with his cousin Tyler.



This is one of my very favorite pictures of Alex with his sister Leah. This is when he was 13 and she was 21.