1) How do I tell if someone is really thinking about suicide?

Because we cannot read minds, it is not possible to determine what someone is really thinking.It is better to rephrase the question as follows: "How do I tell if a person is at risk for suicide?" The answer to this question is addressed by the items outlined in the suicide warning signs.Notice others and be aware that these signs may be present in people you might never have thought would be suicidal.If you have any thought that suicide might be an issue, AID LIFE by asking the person directly and/or seek the counsel of someone in the Chain of Command.

AID LIFE stands for:

A : Ask. Do not be afraid to ask, "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?" or "Are you thinking about suicide?"

I : Intervene immediately. Take action. Listen and let the person know he or she is not alone.

D : Don't keep it a secret.

L : Locate help. Seek out the Officer on Duty, chaplain, physician, corpsman, friend, family member, crisis line worker, or emergency room staff.

I : Inform the Chain of Command of the situation. The Chain of Command can secure necessary assistance resources for the long term. Suicide risk does not get better with quick solutions. Effective problem-solving takes time, and the Chain of Command can monitor progress to help avert future difficulties.

F : Find someone to stay with the person now. Don't leave the person alone.

E : Expedite. Get help now. An at-risk person needs immediate attention from professional caregivers.

2) What if I am worried about someone who is not in my unit or whom I do not know very well?

Effective responding requires a constructive working relationship between helper and the person in crisis.It would be best to take your concerns to a friend or superior of that individual.Tell someone who may be able to approach the person directly and better evaluate whether an intervention is needed.Do not keep your concerns or observations secret. Your willingness to help may save a life!

3) Where is the best place to go for help?

Every Command should have the support services of a chaplain, a corpsman, physician, or mental health provider who can ensure that the person is properly evaluated.If you are away from the Command, use a local emergency room and call the Officer on Duty to keep the Chain of Command informed about the situation.

4) Who is the typical Sailor or Marine who completes suicide?

Most suicides occur among white males under 30 in the enlisted ranks.Typically, the person who dies by suicide is in a leave or liberty status and dies in CONUS.Keep in mind, however, that suicide risk can be found in all ranks, in both genders, and across all races.

5) I know someone who killed himself/herself and there were no warning signs.

Situations like this can happen, but in the overwhelming number of cases people exhibit some warning signs or talk about their feelings of depression and hopelessness.Studies show that, with very few exceptions, suicidal individuals have/had a significant history of emotional and interpersonal difficulties.We might not always be able to notice the warning signs, but this should not stop us from trying.

6) How do I know I am not damaging someone's career by getting help for him or her?

Actually, not getting help is much more likely to damage their career.Emotional problems left unattended result in problem behaviors.The longer someone goes without assistance, the more likely something will occur that could be career-damaging.The sooner you get someone assistance, the sooner he or she can have the help that keeps that person?s life and career on track.

For example, overuse of alcohol often leads to impulsive behaviors, increased aggression, possibly even a DUI.Repeated alcohol-related incidents end careers. Let?s illustrate this by considering someone with a severe drinking problem.The person's friends most likely know that he or she has a drinking problem.These friends can get the person the help needed before a DUI occurs.Keep in mind that trying to safeguard someone's career may cost the person's life (by suicide) or someone else's life (by a DUI).

7) What if they don't want help?

Remember that gentle persistence might pay off.Persons in psychological distress (depressed, emotionally upset, etc.) often desperately want help, but may believe that to accept help is a sign of weakness or would cause more problems than it solves (see previous question).It sometimes helps to find out why the person is rejecting help; then try to address their concerns. As a bottom line, it is better to be rejected by someone whose life you are trying to save than to try to avoid rejection and lose a life.

8) What if I ask someone if he or she is thinking about suicide when he or she hasn't thought of it? Will that make the person go out and do it?

No more so than asking if a person smokes cigarettes would cause him or her to start smoking.By asking, you are letting a person who may be thinking of suicide(or having other problems) know that you are willing and interested to hear about his or her thoughts.Talking about feelings promotes understanding and can greatly reduce distress.If a person is feeling suicidal, it can come as a great relief to find someone else cares about how he or she feels. In contrast, not asking implies to the person that you don't care, that he or she is not worth your attention, or that such thoughts are shameful.

9) Don't people who talk about suicide seldom go on to actually doing it? Don't people threaten suicide just to get attention?

Most people who think of suicide never act to harm themselves. Obviously, this is a very good thing. But those who talk about suicide are more likely to act on their thoughts. It is also true that a few threaten suicide to "manipulate" others. Since we cannot know who will and who will not attempt suicide, we must respond to all those who communicate their suicidal thoughts by getting them evaluated and treated. Even if a person is trying to gain attention, the fact that he or she might act suicidal or even harm himself or herself in order to get that attention is a sign that the person is in desperate need of our help. People talk about suicide for a wide variety of reasons. Leave the determination of their true motives to professionals who may be able to better understand and help them. Remember--most people who kill themselves mention their thoughts to someone beforehand.

10) Aren't people who are suicidal beyond hope? If they really want to die, why should we stop them? Aren't they going to find a way no matter what you try to do to stop them?

The great majority of people seriously thinking about suicide have treatable emotional and psychological problems. They get better with help. We cannot prevent someone from killing himself or herself in every instance. However, it is very important to understand that the suicidal state is usually time-limited. People?s moods lift, and situations change. Often, we are buying time until the person is less upset and we have had opportunity to offer some alternative solutions.

11) What is the most common method of suicide?

In the United States, firearms are the most commonly used means of suicide among both males and females.

12) Are there seasonal, even monthly, variations in number of suicides?

Suicides occur in every month of the year and in all seasons.In Navy there is no month with more suicides than others. Within the Marine Corps over the past 15 years, January stands out as the month with the most suicides.The reasons for this are not clear.It is probably best to think of suicide as knowing no season.Risk is possible at all times and increases when we are not prepared to observe and note it in others.

SMHAI Home | About Suicide | About Mental Health | Suicide Prevention | Suicide Survivors
Suicide Attempters | Self-Injury - Cutters | Crisis | Donate | SMHAI Library | Online Support & Resources
Speakers & Presentations | Memorials, Remebrances & Celebrations Of Life | Healing Music
Suggested Reading - Survivors | Suggested Reading - Attempters & Self-Injurers | Mental Health Pros.
Upcoming Events | Dr. Roerich's Welcome | Ann Gay's Welcome | Legal & About SMHAI
Privacy Policy | Copyright Notice | Awards Honoring SMHAI | SMHAI Awards Program | Contact

© SMHAI 2004 - 2006 All Rights Reserved.
No copying or redistribution without expressed written permission of SMHAI.
Logo Design by Allen R. Jacobson.
Site launched July 01, 2004.