Have you ever been in a middle of a conversation when the person you are talking to just gets up and walks away? Or fiddles in the chair? Or looks everywhere but at you? How does this make you feel? Most people feel hurt. The listener acts as though he or she has absolutely no interest in what the speaker has to say. And yet, when it is their turn to talk, they expect, if not demand, attention.

Have you ever been in a heated conversation and realize that your partner has no idea what you have been saying? It could very well be the manner that you are delivering the speech, or it may be that your partner is a poor listener. Poor listening skills seem to be the majority and not the minority. Our country is so used to fast paced this and that, that we often forget how to slow down and just listen.

So how can we learn to be good listeners? How are some common ideas that seem to work wonders in any relationship:

1. Learn to listen using eye contact: Let the speaker know that you are interested in what is being said.

2. Be slow to speak: Sometimes, people speak to think out loud. Sometimes, all they really want is a shoulder to lean on and a willing ear to listen. By being slow to speak, you are allowing the speaker to work out or solve problems themselves.

3. Keep the secret: People trust you with information because they believe that you will not gossip and spread slander. Keep their trust by keeping things private; between the two of you.

4. Be Attentive: Learn to actively listen. Let the speaker know that you are actually listening, although you are not speaking, by saying things like, "yeah, hmmm, I know, thats true, okay, that makes sense," and so forth.

5. Show Gratitude: Let the speaker know that you feel honored that they were able to open up to you. If nothing personal was said, than let the speaker know that you had a great time listening and that you learned a lot. In a society that forgets to show gratitude, a simple use of kind words, can make someones day a little brighter.

6. Stay in Tune: Dont disappear in the middle of the conversation because your mind wandered. Whether you actually get up and walk away or let your mind wander elsewhere, its just plain rude. If you find that your attention span is small, actively repeat what is being said to you as the speaker is speaking.

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