A Girl in a Corner

You see that
quiet girl
In the corner?
The one that
watches people
passing by.

The one who
never talks
much at all.
The one always
smiling to herself
but her eyes are sad.

You see her
and think that she's
the shy type.
But people
aren't that easy
to classify.

You don't know her
or that she dreams
of being and author.
You don't know what
she's been through
A lot yet still smiles.

You don't know her
because you don't
try to talk to her.
You can't understand
that her mind is full of
poems and other worlds.

I know that girl
Who sits in a corner
watching the world go by.
I know that young dreamer
Because
She is me.

By Wendi Jones
9/13/1989 ~ 1/31/2004
copyright 2004
Lovingly submitted by Mom, Patti Jones

Daddy's Angel

Daddy found you hiding amongst the glitter and gold,
and when he laid his eyes on you,
he knew it was you who told,
he hadn't been out searching,
for an angel as precious as you,
but when he found her on a shelf,
he knew that she was you.

He said I found my Amy,
just sitting on a shelf,
no crys of pain,
no tears of fear,
she was back at home again.

Daddy loves you with all his heart and misses you so much,
but once he found his angel,
he felt a healing touch.

© Lovingly written by Ruth Cruz, Amy's Mom
Written after Amy's dad told her the angel
story which is posted on our "Signs" page.

- REALITY -

The quiet of the night
Deafens my ears
And keeps my mind awake
Visions of your face
In front of my eyes
My heart bleeds once again

Hearing your voice
Gentle whispers breeze by
As I reach out to find you

Refusing to accept
As reality slithers in
My body reacts in pain

Knowing you’re gone
But feeling you’re near
Tears stream down unhindered

Your anguish is over
My suffering begins
Continuing until the end

Trying to focus
On heavenly grace
And angels around me

Knowing we’ll meet
Some day and some time
I’ll see you and hold you again

You’re now in His arms
Safe and secure
Waiting until I come

The day will arrive
And you will be there
To take my hand and guide me

Through fields of flowers
Always in bloom
With rainbows streaming over

Our lives will be one
Together again
To live in His world of love

© EA Gay
February 21, 2004 10:30pm
~ Memorial Site ~

They Whisper

As you go by they whisper your Name
Then they whisper you are not the same
They whisper about what happened to you
They whisper about what you should do
They whisper about what kind of strife
They whisper about who took their life
They whisper again they don't want to share
They whisper some more do they really care
They whisper about what they don't know
They whisper because they think it is a show
They whisper about where you have been
They whisper because they have not seen
They whisper again when they see you cry
They whisper some more you just want to die
There whisper becomes silent when you turn around
Your Head up high your feet on the ground
You open your mouth as you start to speak
Your lips start to quiver your hearts feels so weak
Your words are slow when they first come out
Your grief is so strong you just want to shout
You speak softly and they hear what you say
You lost a loved one on that tragic day
Your heart is broken your mind full of Grief
At long last you get a sigh of relief
The whispers become silent as you go away
They whisper no more it is just another day

©Author: Robert Walters Sr.
Robbie Sr.
I found my Son and Cried, but I wish it was I who died!
Dad of Robbie - Hanging 8/16/1973 - 12/14/2002
~ Memorial Site ~

Forever Twenty Three
In memory of our beloved Jay Jacobson
On his 24th birthday

Forever twenty three
That’s how you will always be
In our hearts and memories
Forever twenty three.

Never growing old, forever young
Gone before your life had really begun
Since losing you, the pain has stung
Never growing old, forever young.

The beautiful world, we hoped for you
On this Earth, never came through
We pray God sees, you are due
The beautiful world, we hoped for you.

Forever twenty three
Oh Jay, we pray you see
We love and miss you, tremendously
Forever twenty three.

Brenda Reeves - July 2003

~ Hugs From Heaven ~

When you feel a gentle breeze
Caress you when you sigh
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From a loved one way up high.

If a soft and tender raindrop
Lands upon your nose
They've added a small kiss
As fragile as a rose.

If a song you hear fills you
With a feeling of sweet love
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From someone special up above.

If you awaken in the morning
To a bluebird's chirping song
It's music sent from Heaven
To cheer you all day long.

If tiny little snowflakes
Land upon your face
It's a hug sent from Heaven
Trimmed with Angel lace.

So keep the joy in your heart
If you're lonely my dear friend
Hugs that are sent from Heaven
A broken heart will mend.

Author Unknown

Unanswered Prayer

There is no such thing as unanswered prayers..
That night when you swallowed the tablets and drank that awful stuff..
Did you pray to die?
I think you did...
What were your last thoughts?
Did you cry?

That night I prayed to God...
To keep you safe...
I begged him to bring you back to me..
Because I could not live without you..I was selfish...

That night God did answer a prayer..

He answered yours...

Sleep tight little brother..

Barbara Warren
In Memory of Her Beloved Brother,
Alan 13.09.1974-17.11.1995

He Gathers Broken Souls

In one moment in time, when all hope seemed far away
When despair weighed so heavily there seemed nothing left to say
When anger and pain were all that he could feel
He decided to leave all the lies he thought were real.

He forgot about the rainbows that follow skies of gray
He forgot about the kindness he witnessed everyday
He forgot about the future he once dreamed could be
He lost sight of all the truth and reality.

The fact that people loved him, the knowledge that they cared
The love they had to offer him the many things he shared
The pain that he would cause just never crossed his mind
He only pictured solitude and the peace that he would find.

Sometimes a gentle spirit in a world that's gone awry
Gets lost and cannot find it's way, can't bring itself to try
When God looks down from Heaven with tender loving eyes
He can see completely every facet of our lives.

It's up to God not man to judge the things that have been done
We are His Creation, in Love He Sent His Son
To walk this earth, to die, to rise and live again
To grant us all salvation, to save our souls from sin.

Each time a sparrow falls lifeless to the ground
Our Father up in Heaven hears that tiny sound
Would He be less vigilant when our lives quickly end
Regardless of the reason, on God you can depend.

For God in all His tenderness can see inside their mind
And when He searches carefully no evil does He find
Just discontent, confusion, pain, and fear, and sorrow
With no hope for today and no vision of tomorrow.

No malice little forethought, just decisions made in haste
God grieves up there in Heaven for this senseless needless waste
Yet even as the sheep are gathered safely to the fold
Our Lord is so magnificent He gathers broken souls.

He takes them home to be eternally with Him
To never know the torment they knew on earth again.
Peace and Hope and Happiness are instantly restored
When souls cross the threshold of Heavens golden door

All Rights Reserved by Cynthia J. Mackenzie

If 'Broken Souls' touches you, or helps you heal in some small way,
please offer God the Thanks.
He led you here, even as He gave me the words to write.
May His Blessings be with you.

The Gift of Someone Who Listens

Those of us who have traveled a while
Along this path called grief,
Need to stop and remember that mile,
The first mile of no relief.

It wasn't the person with answers
Who told us the way to deal,
It wasn't the one who talked and talked
That helped us to start to heal.

Think of the friend who quietly sat
and held our hands in theirs,
The ones who let us talk and talk
and hugged away our tears.

We need to always remember
That more than the words we speak,
It's the gift of someone who listens
That most of us desperately seek.

Nancy Myerholts

"To Caring Family and Friends"

You cried for me when I had no more tears to shed,
And quietly did the everyday things I no longer cared about,
Because you wisely knew that someday I would care again.

You pulled me gently from the darkness of despair
And reminded me that the sun is still shining,
And, when I was ready, I would feel its warmth again...
That laughter and joy, though now muted, were still possible.

When grief and anger seemed overwhelming,
You shared your serenity.
And depression and anger faded.

When my candle burned so very low,
You lit another and another and another,
Until you gave me the strength and will
To again strike a flame for myself.

For all of this, and for your love, I thank you.

Elizabeth Lorber

Try To Understand

Last night while I was trying to sleep,
My son's voice I did hear
I opened my eyes and looked around,
But he did not appear.

He said: "Mom you've got to listen,
You've got to understand
God didn't take me from you, mom
He only took my hand.

When I called out in pain that night,
The instant that I died,
He reached down and took my hand,
And pulled me to His side.

He pulled me up and saved me
From the misery and pain.
My body was hurt so badly inside,
I could never be the same.

My search is really over now,
I've found happiness within,
All the answers to my empty dreams
And all that might have been.

I love you all and miss you so,
And I'll always be nearby.
My body's gone forever,
But my spirit will never die!

And so, you must all go on now,
Live one day at a time.
Just understand-
God did not take me from you,
He only took my hand.

Susan R. George Shipman

The Elephant in the Room

There's an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with, "How are you?" and "I'm fine," and a thousand other
forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about work.
We talk about everything else, except the elephant in the room.

There's an elephant in the room.
We all know it's there. We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds. For, you see, it is a very large elephant.
It has hurt us all.

But we don't talk about the elephant in the room.
Oh, please say his (her) name.
Oh, please say his (her) name again.
Oh, please, let's talk about the elephant in the room.

For if we talk about his (her) death, perhaps we can talk about his (her) life.
Can I say his (her) name to you and not have you look away?
For if I cannot, then you are leaving me....
alone....
in a room....
with an elephant.

Author Unkown

Grief

Grief is a tidal wave that over takes you,
smashes down upon you with unimaginable force,
sweeps you up into its darkness,
where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces,
only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped...
Grief will make a new person out of you,
if it doesn't kill you in the making...

Stephanie Ericsson

Every life has a measure of sorrow. Sometimes it is this that awakens us.

Buddha

IN A BLINK OF A EYE, A BEAT OF A HEART.
YOU DISAPPEARED
LEAVING NO EXPLANATION JUST QUESTIONS…..
YOUR BODY SO COLD YOUR EYES SO LIFELESS.
THE UNKNOWN NOW KNOWN
ALL QUESTIONS ANSWERED
YOUR PAIN IS GONE, PEACE AND WARMTH HAVE TAKEN OVER.

A DECISION IS MADE THERE IS NO TURNING BACK
IT CANNOT BE CHANGED.. I FEEL SO HELPLESS
THE PERMANENCY IS CHILLING.
THE DISBELIEF OVERWHELMING
THE VOID IS IMMENSE AND THE TEARS ARE FLOWING.
THE LOSS IS GREAT AND THE CLOCK STOPS TICKING
THERE IS NOTHING THAT ANYONE CAN SAY TO EASE THE PAIN.
THE PHYSICAL WITHDRAWAL IS MIND BOGGLING
THE LOVE I FEEL HAS NOT STOPPED
ONLY YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE IS GONE
YOUR INFLUENCE REMAINS.

I CANT UNDERSTAND AND I WONT.
YOU TALKED ABOUT YOUR PAIN … I NEVER UNDERSTOOD
I FEEL IT NOW… IT IS CONSUMING
IT GOES TO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SOUL.
THERE IS NO ESCAPE YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM IT.
LIFE HAS BECOME A CHORE I GO THROUGH THE ROUTINES
BUT MY EMOTIONS REMAIN WITH YOU

I CAN NO LONGER HEAR YOU BUT YOUR IMAGE IS EVERYWHERE
YOUR CLOTHES REMAIN BUT YOU AREN’T HERE TO FILL THEM
YOU HAVE TAKEN PART OF ME….BUT I DID NOT GIVE PERMISSION
I STRUGGLE TO GO ON…I KNOW I MUST

YOU DECIDED TO CUT OUR JOURNEY SHORT
WE WERE SUPPOSE TO GROW OLD TOGETHER
BUT TOGETHER IS NO LONGER

I WISH I COULD HAVE SAID GOODBYE……
BUT YOU WOULDN’T LET ME

I CAN STILL TALK TO YOU BUT YOU CANNOT ANSWER
SO…I WANT TO SAY
GOODBYE MY LOVE, TILL WE MEET AGAIN….

I PRAY THAT YOU ARE IN GOD’S HANDS
AND PEACE AND LOVE IS ABUNDANT…..

Author Unknown

Suicide

Suicide a word not spoken it's almost taboo
Until this tragic event arrives and affects you
Sssh! be quiet don't mention that word
It doesn't happen that's absurd
Then one day it strikes at home
Shattering your life right down to the bone
The suicide not spoken has arrived
Now you are the one left to survive
Friends you knew that you once had
Think you are crazy maybe even mad
Support from them is not there
All you want is someone to care
They say they know and understand it's true
It's funny they don't even have a clue
They can't comprehend the loss of a life
The pain the suffering and all of the strife
Move on get over it they say to you
Life goes on you must start anew
They don't know about the part
The hole that is now left in your heart
These words I say to then though true
I pray to God this doesn't happen to you

Author: Robert Walters Sr.
I found my Son and Cried, but I wish it was I who died!
Dad of Robbie - Hanging 8/16/1973 - 12/14/2002
~ Memorial Site ~

What are angels?…They are the invisible ones, who come to hold us, heal us, guide us, guard us. They take on any form in which they can be received: as visions, as voices, as dreams, as mysterious accidents or as the weird and marvelous coincidence that leaves us laughing with awe and disbelief. They are the whisper of intuition at our shoulder…

Sophy Burnham

From "Angels All Around Us." Compiled by Karen Maguire.

From The Heart of A Parent

The day you decided to leave
Did you think about how much we would miss you
and how we would grieve.
Is there anything we could have
done or anything we didn't say
that would have made you stay.
You left us with so many questions and so many things unsaid.
I know your gone but I can't
think of you as dead.
You are in my heart and in my
thoughts every day.
As long as I can remember and
dream you'll never really go away.
I know where you are now is a far better place.
I'm looking forward to the day I can
again see your beauitful face.
You are sadly missed and remembered
with much love.
So until we meet again fly my sweet
angel with the grace of a white dove.

© Copyright 2001 Nancy Jo Davis. All Rights Reserved.
In Loving Memory Of Kassandra Jean Carroll
January 31,73 ~ July 21,2001
~ Memorial Site ~

Thoughts of JAY

After the sun goes down
And the house is quiet
I put on my nightgown
Dimly the house is lit

The answers I search for
As to why you had to leave
Searching the computer
And finding no relief

I ponder what might have been
I think of all that was lost
Only memories to share with kin
At such a high cost

I am so sorry
That I didn't do my job well
But you know the story
You were living a life of hell

A poem to Jay....as his 25th birthday approaches....07-31
Brenda Reeves 07-12-03

My Son! My Son! My Son!

Lord Jesus, My Son again has tried to kill himself..
and not a tear was shed..
Let's just keep his secret.. from his Mom and Dad..
we would not want to upset them.. you know..
and through his smiles, the tears glistened in his eyes..
as he tried to talk to me,
his wife, kept interupting..
until his head did turn from away..
and with a shrug, he left the room..
and she chatted on and on..
a broken heart, I seen today..
On the Face Of My Dear Son..
She talked about his funeral..
having him cremated and planted under a tree..
the tears did slide down my face..
as she turned to stare at me..
She ask about the funeral..
I had given 12 years ago..
But his Dad, went to Heaven..
and he wore a smile and glow..
My Husband, is at Fort Custer..
A Military Funeral he had..
But how do you compare..
the funerals of a Son and Dad?
My Husband died from an illness..
nothing could spare his life..
But he left behind, 4 children..
and a sadly Grieving Wife..
I wonder when the call will come..
My Beautiful Son.. is Gone..
Will he be remembered?
Will they Honor him, with a Song?
I said a Prayer today for Him..
and the tears I cannot hide..
My Son.. he tried to die today..
My Son, My Son, My Son!!

Author Unknown

THREE DOORS

Pat Dickerman
Hacienda Heights, California

The first door was the death. It
slammed shut, was locked and sealed.
It separated me from my loved one. It
was a heavy, cold steel door. I can
never open it. It leaves me alone outside.

The second door swings open and
beckons me to come inside. It leads to
all my memories of our life together.
At first, the door is wide open as I
spend most of my time back inside reliving
every precious moment – the sad
memories, the bad memories and,
thank goodness, the very special good
memories.

Gradually I spend less time there but
often I return to the second door.
Sometimes I find myself spending a lot
of time there. Sometimes I chuckle and
leave, appreciative and happy for the
experiences we shared. The second
door will always remain slightly open.

It will always be welcoming me back in
time. The more I heal, the more I walk
away from the second door and toward
the third door.

The third door is stiff. It is hard to
open. It opens slowly. It is scary inside
when I first open it but each time I try
to open this door, it becomes easier to
open. Inside, I find rays of hope. Beyond
are many paths, many choices.

As time passes, I feel more comfortable
entering. Gradually, the third door
opens wider and I find myself able to
explore all that is within. Soon the
paths take me in many directions.

The third door opens up to my new life

Grief is like a texture.
Sometimes it is like a spike, jagged in your heart
Sometimes it is like tar, sticky with desperation
Sometimes it is icy, cold with fear
Sometimes it is hollow, a void in our lives
But most of the time it is wet, from all the tears that are cried.

© EA Gay
~ Memorial Site ~

Can I Make It One More Day

As I drive on the many highways of life
With road blocks, mountains too high to climb,
Dead-man curves into valleys deep as the sea.
With hopes and dreams crushed beyond repair.

I wonder 'has this day been enough of a task'
Did I use this time to find I can make it one more day?
Did I push the hurt and loneliness behind the mask
To cover and hide it all, to show only a surface smile?

As the sun slowly turns into dusk of another lost day
I lift my eyes up, to ask for some promise
Some hope of a future I can't seem to find,
Though the rainfall of tears of loneliness -- I smile.

For at the end of the highway, a promise of hope
Clouds of darkness giving way to every color
That heaven has to give, today's last sun rays
Still engulfing this earth with their beauty and warmth.

Like the day, love is not, there is a reason
The memories fill me with warmth, like the sun
It will hold me, engulf me, till the clouds are gone
And a new day, and new time will be in my life.

Yes, I can make it one more day.

©Ruth Osborne

Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face,
but those that fall from the heart and cover the soul.

Author Unknown

The Rose

A rose once grew where all could see,
Sheltered beside a garden wall,
And, as the days passed swiftly by,
It spread its branches straight and tall.

One day, a beam of light shone through
A crevice that had opened wide.
The rose bent gently toward its warmth
And then passed to the other side.

Now you who deeply feel its loss,
Be comforted, the rose blooms there.
Its beauty even greater now,
Nurtured by God's own loving care.

Author Unknown

Poem From Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street and you've got Me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go....from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going.....you're coming here to Me.

Author Unknown

I Did Not Choose

Get over it move on my family said
We all know your loved one is dead
You now have to get a hold of your grief
Are words I have heard in utter disbelief
Their name they shun their lips don’t move
You talk of your loved one and they disapprove
Family once close now seem to fall apart
Like a shattering blow right to the heart
Why can’t they see or even agree
Why this had to happen to me
Friends once many now become few
They shy away they want no part of you
You look everywhere for someone to share
Someone to help you someone to care
During this time emotions are shattered
Your mind so confused nothing else mattered
You don’t understand nor do you care
Tears stream down your cheeks into the air
Your nights are lonely empty and long
You now feel that you don’t belong
The nightmares you have don’t seem to go away
Sometimes they are there in the middle of the day
The road is long a cross we must bear
Until we find someone willing to share
Time will ease the pain and the grief
But at this time you are still in disbelief
I know this to be true I have worn those shoes
I am a survivor of suicide this I did not choose

Author: Robert Walters Sr.

I found my son and cried.
I wish it was I who had died.
Dad of Robbie
8/16/1973 - 12/14/2002
~Memorial Site