Lauren Niederer
October 12, 1987 ~ May 05, 2004
My Beautiful Angel
Lovingly shared by Lauren's mother, Maria Niederer
Part II
Lauren, on May 5, 2004, decided that she no longer wanted to live. She jumped out of her second floor bedroom window and hung herself. The day before her death, she stayed after school for some extra help with the school work. That is what she told me. I picked her up from school. Lauren was Lauren that day. Listening to music as always. Music was her life. At 8:00 PM she decided to go to bed early because her allergies were bothering her. We said I Love You and she went to bed. That is the last time I saw her and heard her voice.
At 6:00 am on Wednesday, May 5th, we heard a thump against the house. We thought nothing of it. My husband woke up at 6:15 and opened Lauren's bedroom door. At 6:30 she had still not gotten up to go to school. I kept calling her but I got no answer. I finally went upstairs and noticed she was not in her bed. We noticed that her window was opened and saw a rope tied to her futon. I looked out the window and there she was. Hanging.
Lauren left us and her friends goodbye letters. That is why she stayed after school. She left a journal to one of her good friends. In the journal we found out who Lauren really was. She began feeling depressed at the age of 10. She was cutting and doing drugs and alcohol. She thought she was bipolar and was afraid to tell us how she was feeling. Also, Lauren's best friend committed suicide at the age of 12. Lauren was 10. She never got over her death. Lauren lost so many friends to either suicide or motor vehicle accidents. We never knew. There was death all around her at such a young age.
Lauren, we love you and miss you so much baby.
The very last posting in her journal and she is referring to the next picture.
Our playful Lauren
ANGEL
They say angels have wings, why could you not fly?
Gone in a blink of an eye, no goodbyes
Questions unanswered, reasons why?
I feel you all around me but, you are no longer here
My heart is empty, full of fear and
My eyes are always filled with tears
I think of you everyday, wishing I could have my way
To have my angel here to stay but, something stood in your way
You have been taken away
My life will never be the same, I wish there were someone to blame
I hold on your smile, laughs, and silly games we used to play
I wish I could hug you one last time, to tell you it will all be okay
I know you’re in a better place watching over me, my angel
Lighting up heaven with your smile and grace
God has given you wings, now you can fly
Written for Lauren by sister Nicole
An Angel's Touch
Please come touch my heart
If only for a moment
To remind me of your life
That stirred deep inside mine
To bring back your beauty, my faith and my wishes
Just one moment I ask for,
Is that too much?
A time to tell you all that you mean
To me, your family, my life, all our dreams
A brush of your cheek, a touch of your fingers
Your eyes into mine, a smile filled with love
This moment to tell you you're loved, you're remembered
A second to hold you, just a short kiss
Just one moment - you came, and reminded me - You're here and always are
In my heart, and many others, you live and leave those kisses
So that I'll be at peace with this moment I've stolen
And I'll smile, and surely cry, for all that I've missed
By Angela McKenney
Grasonville, Maryland
(For daughter Elizabeth, 08-27-84)
Lauren and her childhood friend Jannah and their first high school dance.
Please Don't Judge Me
"Don't judge me for how I left this world,
Remember the love I gave
A lot of grief will follow me
for the decision that I made
Changes appear in everyone's life
Some good, some bad
The one I chose for myself
made everyone very sad
But in time memories will heal the hurt of hearts
And my presence will be felt by all with an inner peace
Remember me when the sun is bright and laughter fills the air
And a moonlit night and a whisper of wind
Will tell you I am there
Don't look down on my family
Or fill their hearts with blame
For my leaving them without good-byes
They will never be the same
If I could go back in time
I'd say a last good-bye
I'd tell them to look to tomorrow
And for me.....do not cry..."
Author Unknown
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Light A Candle
And I will light a candle for you.
To shatter all the darkness and bless the times we knew.
Like a beacon in the night.
The flame will burn bright
and guide us on our way.
Oh, today I light a candle for you.
The seasons come and go,
And I'm weary of the change.
I keep moving on,
you know it's not the same.
And when I'm walking all alone,
Do you hear me call your name?
Do you hear me sing the songs we used to sing?
You filled my life with wonder,
Touched me with surprise,
I always saw that something special deep within your eyes.
And through the good times and the bad,
We carried on with pride.
I hold onto the love and life we knew.
Paul Alexander
 
  
"Can't Cry Hard Enough"
Artist Now Performing: Unknown
Written By David Williams & Marvin Etzioni
Originally Performed By Victoria Williams
From the Album: Swing the Statue
P & C 1990 Rough Trade Records
Purchase This Music
Please do not use graphics without permission.
The mermaid, crying eyes, broken heart, candle and angel graphics are not a part of this set.
Contents: © Maria Niederer 2005, unless otherwise stated.
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